did you get engaged???
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
