Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
