I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
