bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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