My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
