are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
