I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
