How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
