All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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