bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
