Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
