but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it because I queefed?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
