I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
