So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
