i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
