Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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