i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
