so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
