it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
