Pappa wants mamma naked
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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