I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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