Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
