He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
