shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
