Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
