Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i already hear my dad disowning me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she smelled like a LAN party
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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