you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
50% drunk capacity currently
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
