Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
