Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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