I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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