Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
