Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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