I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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