is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
whose parrot is this?
Randomize
