The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I look better un-naked...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
