hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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