If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
