Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My liver just broke up with me...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
