Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
