I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
where does the pee come out of this thing
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
