I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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