this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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