I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
