yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
