Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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