so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Sext me about skeletons
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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