oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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