Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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