We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well you can't waste a boner
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
