My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
